Is God More Than Enough????

 When  taking Emma to her Doctor today to have her cast removed and her arm put in a sling (Phase one of recovery) I found myself in a interesting conversation with my four-year-old. She asked me a question that I myself have often worried about and wondered the answer to. Emma: "Mommy, what if God doesn't heal my arm? What if I can never move it like it's suppose to?..............After a few seconds of silence and holding back my tears of fear.....I had to say one of the hardest things to her.......He may not Emma, God may choose to not heal your arm. But, you have to understand that even if that happens, that God is more than enough for you! You don't need your arm to be "normal" to serve God! Then I was overcome with a little guilt and fear......Is God really more than enough? What am I going to do if He chooses to not heal her arm?!?  Then I had to stop and think back over these last almost five years, and remember all the miracles He has done for us.

 We started the journey with Emma's arm on May 24, 2007. The day she was born.
Miracle #1: When Emma was born, she was stuck with in me. The Dr's were trying everything they could to get her out in time. She was loosing oxygen and we were about to lose our girl. I remember laying there in great pain, I realized that something was wrong, really wrong. She was not coming out and she should of been out by now. The Dr's and Nurses were frantic! They had already gone through all the "procedures" in the book and nothing was working. I laid my head down  and prayed. I said " Lord, I know I can't do it! I have no strength left, but, I know You can! Please help me!"...and with that prayer was the first miracle, Emma was immediately born!!!
Miracle #2 : We were told once they stabilized Emma, what had happened to her and that we should prepare ourselves that she may never move her arm. Four months later, she moved her arm for the first time!! God showed us that second miracle! Miracle #3: When Emma got older we started to notice that her arm was getting weaker. There was no specialist in this entire state that could help her! The only Pediatric Obstetrical Brachial Plexus Injury Specialist was in Texas!!! They would fly up to Charlotte, NC twice a year to do free clinics. They did a scan of Em's shoulder and thought that she would benefit from a Muscle Transfer Surgery, but we would have to fly down to Houston, Texas! Our Medical Insurance would not pay for anything out of state....we felt hopeless! There was nothing we could do but wait and pray. Pray that God would provide a way even when there really seemed to be NO way! We just kept driving the distance to Charlotte every six months to make sure she was doing okay. One day after coming home from the long trip, I felt very overwhelmed and worried! To be honest I even felt a little bit of anger. Nothing hurts worse than seeing your child suffer and there's nothing you can do about it! So I came home and got on the internet and decided to google Erb's palsy doctors Raleigh, NC.....then miracle #3 happened....her Dr. popped right up! It just so happened that Emma's Dr. Had just moved to the area recently and started a new practice just for pediatric Brachial Plexus patients!

 My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.~Psalm 63:8

There have been lots of miracles in Em's life! I had to go over them to remind myself, that HE is faithful, HE does love us, and HE is in control and has a special plan for her. He loves her more than I do, she belongs to Him!!!

We were told before Emma had the surgery that it would not fix her arm, it would just slow down the process of internal rotation. Her arm is going to slowly turn inwards and one day she may have no use of it. In the mean time we are trying to do as much as we can to give her the most function in her arm.

I know that  God is in control, it's hard as the stubborn human that I am, to give it to Him no matter what!
So when Emma asked me that question earlier today, I had to remind myself of His grace and that God is more than enough even if He chooses to  not heal Emma. HE is more than enough!

"But I have received everything in full and have an abundance; I am amply supplied, having received from Epaphroditus what you have sent, a fragrant aroma, an acceptable sacrifice, well-pleasing to God. 19And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. 20Now to our God and Father be the glory forever and ever. Amen." ~ Phil 4:18

"The Lord is merciful and gracious, 

slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love."~ Psalms 103:8

38 days left of school..... and Emma's many cast!

   So I haven't blogged in forever! We are on the count down in school!! : ) We have completed 132 days and only have 38 days left!!! We are excited to start our summer break, and looking forward to first grade in the fall! Emma will start Kindergarten this fall!! Wow, I am going to have my hands full!!

 This is the best idea I've had all school year!! I found a cute little basket at the thrift store for .99! I also found a lot of level one and two books for Leah to read, AND tons of Junie B. Jones books, Leah's favorite! Put them all in the cute little basket with a great work chart and a roll of stickers! Leah absolutely LOVES math and is very good at it! Reading however, not so much...: / I told her that this was her special basket, and when she reads a whole book to Daddy or I, that I will put a sticker on her chart! When she fills in the entire chart we will go to Chuckie Cheeses for pizza and games!!! Oh the things you will do to bribe, I mean encourage your child to read! : )

 Here Leah is putting her first sticker on the chart!!! She is so excited to fill in the chart and go to Chuckie Cheeses.......

 Some of Leah's school work! She's doing so well! I am very proud of her! She absolutely LOVES math and is doing very good with it!

Leah and her favorite book this month! It's about Junie B.'s first grade class, and her invitation to a fellow class mates birthday party. The class mate, Lucille, is having the Easter Bunny at her party and they are having a Easter egg hunt! Whoever finds the special golden egg, wins a prize! They are all in competition to find the golden egg! That is just the first three chapters! : )....... Junie B. gives us lots of laughs in school!

 Emma is a remarkable kid! She has done SO well with her many cast! ; ) I say many because she has gone through four of them in seven weeks!!!! The first one was a "normal" cast change. Second one was too tight, her little fingers turned blue!! She cracked the third one, only the Lord knows how! And this is, Lord willing her LAST ONE! : ) She is suppose to have the cast taken of next Thursday, April 5th! We are so excited to have it taken off for good! It has been a long eight weeks! Although, I am very thankful for how well she has handled having the cast! She is a trooper!

After the cast is taken off she will then be in a sling for 10 days. I will have to do some simple shoulder stretches during that time. Then we go back to her Dr. and he will write the prescription for her many new therapies......We have had a break in therapy since December. Emma has been in therapy since she was 8 weeks old. So to have had three months off, has been great! She will have to go three times a week for her therapy's for awhile. They will hopefully go to just once a week or maybe even twice a month, within the next year. It's hard taking all three kiddos, but we have learned to make the best of it! We are very thankful that God has placed the Dr.'s and hospitals he has in our life! There are some people who have to travel for hours to get to Duke!! We only have to drive for 45 minutes!!! Such a blessing! 

Emma's surgery.......

As I carried my sleepy four-year-old baby down those long hospital halls  into the operating room and laid  her on the operating table, watched her go to sleep and lay there lifeless looking, and then to walk all the way back to the waiting area with out her.....this was the verse God put on my heart. Over and Over I said it in my head....."Be strong and courageous, do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
 I can't tell you how much Tim and I fully relied on God's grace yesterday morning.....we were scared and terrified, yet God calmed us with His word and gave us peace. She was in His hands and there is no better place to be!! We appreciate all of ya'll's prayers for us! We truly felt God's grace and presence yesterday!


We had talked SO much about her surgery and how Dr. Leversedge was going to help "lefty" get better. She was so excited to go!

  Here my girl is with her big cast!  The surgery went very well. He was able to transfer some of her pectoral muscle from the front to the back of the shoulder, he was able to lengthen another tendon, and released a lot of scar tissue from the original injury. Our hope and prayer is that this will be Emma's last surgery and her shoulder will not continue to turn inwards. We are told that this surgery will slow down the process of it. but, It will not totally stop it. But,  We believe that God is in control and if He desires to, He can heal her.

 She did so well after her surgery. It was four hours long...... It did take a couple of high doses of pain meds at first, but then she seemed to be comfortable. She did have an allergic reaction to the tape they used on her eyes and mouth. Her little face swelled up! After lots of Benadryl she seemed to be fine.


Emma's first cast! Her right arm was broken at birth. Her left arm is the one with Erb's Palsy....she was still pretty cute and tuff then too! : )...Leah had a head full of hair!!!
Emma's second cast! She was not too happy about it when she woke up from surgery : /....She actually complained more about the cast then she did about pain!

Emma was SO happy to go home!! She couldn't wait to see her sisters again.........and her sisters were ready to be my little nursing assistants! : ) Aren't they cute?!?!?!


So far the most difficult thing with Emma is that we are finding out all the things you can't do with one arm :) I am having to teach her how to eat with one arm, which is difficult when you think about how to pick up food with out the assistance of your other arm!!! How to hold a cup with one hand (when your hands are as little as a four-year-olds :) ), how to go to the bathroom, how to sit up and down, how to pick up things , open things, color and not have your paper move away from you!!! You never realize how much you need both of your arms till you are left with only one!!
She is handling it like a trooper though!!! God knew all that Emma would go through and gave her the personality that she has for a reason!! Nothing stops Emma. She is going to try  until she gets it done no matter how she has to do it!! VERY stubborn!! lol....but that's a good thing! : )

The other thing is.....Emma is a hyper, very active, type of child, and sitting still does NOT come easy for her! I am having to constantly tell her to sit down! I feel bad for her because she just wants to run and play, but she was put on light activity for two weeks....not sure how that is going to happen, but please pray for her.
She will go back to her Dr. in two weeks to have the cast removed and changed. : / I'm trying to explain to her that they are going to put another cast on again, that lefty will not be free just yet........she's not happy about that.
From here she will have to wear  a cast for six to eight weeks. Then they will take it off and she will start therapy three times a week for a long time : ) She will also be on light duty for three months there after. She will not be able to pull with her left arm, push with it, ect..........
Thank you all for all your prayers for our Emma Grace! We have definitely felt God's peace through all of this! I honestly don't think Emma would be doing as well as she is if it wasn't for all the prayer warriors out their!!!

Happy 100th day of school!!!
We were so excited to celebrate our 100th day of school!
We made 100 day Princess crowns....we even made a 100 day pizza with 100 slices of pepperoni for lunch! (sorry forgot to take a pic, we were hungry :) )

 We made a 100 link chain! It was so big I couldn't get all of it in the picture! They loved making their 100link "snake". : )

This is Emma's paper. If she had $100 she would buy a snake!!! I don't think so Em's!! : )




















This is one of the books we read today. Jake's 100th day of school! They loved it! It's about this little boy who was suppose to bring 100 things to school, but in a hurry that morning he rushed out the door and forgot his special 100 memory book he had made! So when he gets to school he is very sad because he had nothing to show for his 100 things! The Principle helped him find 100 books to show.....then a special guest comes in and it is his great, great aunt who is 100 years old.....good story check it out from the library if you want the rest of the story! : )      

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 What will we look like when we are 100?!?!? Well here you go! We made pictures of us. This is what we think we will look like when we are 100-years-old! Pretty cute aren't we?!??!? : )

Emma wants 100 pencils, she doesn't want 100 pieces of glue.
Emma would eat 100 happy meals ( I think she probably could too!), but she wouldn't eat 100 frogs?!?!? ...lol

Emma's favorite thing she has learned in the first 100 days of school is: How to write her name!
She has done such a good job too! Can't wait to start Kindergarten with her this fall!

 Here they are with the 100 links we made!!! It was so long! they loved it!

If Leah had $100 she would buy 100 pizza's!!! That girls sure can eat some pizza too! lol

 This one cracks me up!!In Leah's 100 days of school paper. She want's 100 pets, doesn't want 100 snakes (me either)
She would eat 100 Happy Meals, but would not eat Mommy's Chicken Divan!! lol....no wonder she always gags when we make her eat it! I love the picture she drew with her tongue sticking out! : )

Leah's favorite thing that she has learned in the first 100 days of school is : How to read!!! : )












Here is little old lady Leah at 100! : )

If Mady had $100 she would buy 100 pizzas! lol

Mady's favorite thing about school is when Mommy reads to her! This child LOVES books!! She can not wait to read! I think she may have her own library some day! : )

Here is my little Mady-Moo at 100! Love her lips!

Here are my little ladies and their future look! LOL......They'll always be cute, even when they are 100!!

All in all we had an awesome 100 day of school!!! They have all grown a lot since August 15, 2011! Now we only have 70 days left!!! Yay!!! : )...Then we will have a first grader, kindergartner, and possibly a K-4 student!! It seems like yesterday when I was changing two babies in diapers and potty training my two and a half year old!! I don't know how I survived those first few years! I love watching them grow, I love teaching them school (on most days :) ) but, I miss those day of endless diapers and bottles,...well only till I think about my 10 hours of sleep I get every night! : ).... Love my girls to the moon and back!!

Lots and Lots of different things!! : )

So my children got a Wii for Christmas and are totally addicted to Super Mario Brothers!!! Mady loves to be "egee" (Luigi)!

Leah is continueing to do well in school. She is writing a lot!! We are still working on writing her name in cursive, but she mainly writes in print. She has learned to mark her vowels (long vowel, short vowel) and read the words! I am very proud of her and what she has accomplished this month!

So after being inspired by a few of my friends...I took the plunge and did a patch work backsplash out of scrapbook paper and......I LOVE it!! It adds so much color to our kitchen! It did take Tim a little while to get use to it though! : )

Who knows what project I will come up with next! I drive Tim crazy with all of my ideas and rearranging of things....he still loves me though!! : )

So I have been looking for a good chapter book to start reading to my girls in school, and I found Junie B.!!! I love it and so do the girls!!! We just

started reading this book on Tuesday. After we read two chapters, I have Leah write a two sentence story about what happened and draw a picture. She chose to write and draw about the playground. Junie B. was the first girl in her class to have a lose tooth, and all her friends were very excited for her. Junie B. let them line up on the playground so she could let each one of them see her tooth! Her excitment goes away very quickly when one of her friends tell her that she might end up looking like his Uncle Lou who lost all of his teeth


 except for one and it is really yellow and all he can eat is an apple! LOL......that was Emma's favorite part. She drew a picture of uncle lou and his one tooth, holding an apple. She's so funny!

Love doing fun things with my girls!! I'm looking forward to this fall when Emma start's Kindergarten and Leah the 1st. Grade!!! I might even start Mady with some K4 stuff.....she wants to do school so bad, and is pretty smart! Having two older sisters to keep up with helps with that. : ) She will be four next January anyway, so I am toying with the thought of starting her in kindergarten for the fall of 2013....we'll see!!

Please continue to pray for us!! Emma's surgery is coming up in 11 days!! I have been slowly talking to Emma about what is going to happen. We have talked about the big cast she will have and that she will have to wear it for two months. She took that pretty well when I told her she could pick whatever color she wanted and we could write on it! : ) We went shopping for some special shirts to fit over her cast (since it will go over her chest too :/ ) She is excited about her new shirts!

One of the hardest things I had to do was to explain to her that her "lefty" (that's what we have always called her left arm :) ) needs help. We have always encouraged Emma to turn her lefty, and have always told her how good she could do. This time I had to actually show her what lefty really should be able to do, and what he couldn't do. Her reply to me was " Your right Mommy, lefty can't do what righty can do, I think he needs help too".........As a Mom, I am struggling with the thoughts of her going under anesthesia for four hours, being cut open her entire length of her arm pit, having muscle cut from the front of her shoulder and moved to the back. I am struggling with the worries of, what if they slip and cut a nerve and she won't have any use of her arm, what if it doesn't work, what if something goes wrong, and I can not be there with her!! Oh this weary heart of mine!!! Lord forgive me!.....If I think about it too much I literally get sick!! I am struggling with my emotions. Those that know me, know that I'm not a really emotional person, but when it comes to my girls or Tim, I lose it. :/ Please pray for Tim and I, that we will be able to keep it together. I know that God is in control, and I am VERY thankful that He is! I know with out Him I would not survive this valley in my life!

"Come to me all you who are weary and burden, and I will give you rest, take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. " ~ Matthew 11:28-30

January!!!!

We have done a lot of fun things since Christmas break ended! First, we got bunnies!!! The one in the picture above is Butterball. He is two-years-old and very sweet! The other one, which I need to get a picture of is Jazzel. She is about five or so. She is also very sweet, but doesn't like to be picked up like Butterball.

The girls love their bunnies!Leah has done so well in school! She loves to draw a picture and write a story about it! In this story, she is telling about the Shepard's and their BIG star they followed to find baby Jesus.

I love her love of writing, and I love her love for Jesus! She is really starting to show how God is working on her heart. At dinner tonight she said this prayer " Dear Jesus, thank you for this wonderful day ( I love how descriptive she is becoming in her vocabulary) thank you for our food and our bodies, please save my sisters, because I love them and I don't want them to go to hell, I want them to go to Heaven with you Jesus, Amen! "

It really warms this Mamma's heart to hear her pray that, and to know that she truly understands salvation and to see her concern and love for her sisters. I know God has a special plan for that sweet girl! : )Madelyn Kate turned Three-years-old on the 8th of this month! I can't believe my youngest and baby just turned three!!! I love seeing her personality! She is so funny! She loves to laugh and to make others laugh too! She is also her sisters little shadow, which is sweet to watch the three of them play together. I can see three best friends when they are all grown up and have families of their own. What a sweet time that will be!

What am I to do with no little babies and three potty trained children?!?!?



My Emma Grace went and had her MRI done last Tuesday and we went to see her Doctor yesterday to get the results of her test.

Emma's ball joint in her shoulder is permanently deformed. Because the nerves of the Brachial Plexus on the left side of the neck and arm were over stretched at birth, her arm lacks in what they call a balanced muscle. The muscle in the front part of her shoulder is over working, therefore it is a lot bigger than the muscle in the back part of her shoulder. So the muscle in the front is pulling her shoulder inward and down. So she has what they call inward rotation.

She has NO external rotation.

Their plan of action is to slow down this process of inward rotation, by going in surgically and cutting the muscle in the front and moving it to the back of the shoulder to create a balanced muscle in her shoulder. Hopefully it will pull her shoulder back some and give her some more function. It will not solve her problem, but we hope it will slow down the internal rotating of her shoulder. Her Doctor was very straight forward with us, which I like. Because, Emma's socket has been reshaped from a normal "c" type shape to more of a side ways L shape, her arm will continue to turn inward. The only other thing they could do for her as she gets older and if it gets extremely worse, is to do a reconstructive surgery of her shoulder. They would go in and cut her humerus bone and move it to a position that would give her better external rotation. : / We are praying that this surgery will not be needed and that the muscle transfer will take!

Emma is scheduled to have surgery on Monday February 13th. Please keep her in your prayers!

I don't know why God has lead us down this path, it breaks my heart to see Emma suffer. But, I know that God has a plan for all of this, even if I can't see it right now,and honestly can't understand it. He loves her more than I can even imagine! Thankful for His grace, thankful that his mercies are new EVERY morning!

"Because of the LORD's great love, we are not consumed, for His compassion's never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness". Lam 3:22-23

Emma Grace~ Erb's Palsy

A lot of people ask me why I take Emma to therapy and what is Erb's palsy. (what Emma has) So I thought I would blog about it! : )

Every child is a miracle don't get me wrong! When Emma was born her birth was very difficult, Dr's fancy talk "Severe Shoulder Dystocia" Basically Emma's left shoulder got stuck on my bone and they couldn't get her out, after several different maneuvers, one broken arm, a very over stretched brachial nerves in her left arm, she was born. : ) When Emma was born they had to resuscitate her twice and then after a very quick peek at our new bundle of joy they whisked her off to the NICU for the night. They told us what went wrong and what to expect, that she may never be able to move her left arm........it was a big shock to Tim and I. We had NO idea how much our lives were about to change. Emma's broken arm healed perfectly fine. But her left arm was and is a slow process. She was not able to move her arm for the first four months of her life. She has been in physical therapy since she was 8 weeks old.

I am very grateful to God for her and all the miracles He continues to do with Emma. First they didn't think she would be able to move her arm, at four months she was able to move her forearm for the first time. : ) Then they thought that that would be the extent of her function, well at six months she was able to move her shoulder. God definitely has His hand on her. She did really well and compared to most kids who have Erb's palsy (that's what they call it) she is remarkable.

What is Erb's Palsy??

Erb's palsy is a form of brachial plexus palsy. It is named for one of the doctors who first described this condition, Wilhelm Erb.

The brachial plexus (BRAY-key-el PLEK-sis) is a network of nerves near the neck that give rise to all the nerves of the arm. These nerves provide movement and feeling to the arm, hand, and fingers. Palsy means weakness, and brachial plexus birth palsy causes arm weakness and loss of motion.

These nerves carry the signals from the brain to the muscles that move the arm. The nerves carry signals back to the brain about sensations such as touch, pain, and temperature.In some children, the affected arm is noticeably smaller than the unaffected arm. This occurs because nerves do have an effect on growth. Although the affected arm will continue to grow as the child grows, it grows at a slower pace, and the size difference will become more noticeable as the child gets older.

In Emma's case her elbow is slightly locked meaning she can't straighten her left arm out. So IF Emma stood still : ) and you looked at her you might would notice her left arm stays slightly bent. She also has internal rotation of her shoulder. The back of her shoulder lacks in muscle, so her shoulder is turning inward and her shoulder blade wings out because there is not enough proper muscle to hold it down. The supination in her left hand/arm is not very good. She can not turn her palm up in that arm. She can go as far as turning her thumb up. But, again Emma is doing VERY well with all of this! If you researched kids with this condition, you would see just how bad it could of been. We are so thankful to God that this is all we have to deal with, she can still do things, she might have to do some things differently, but she can do them!

It's been hard (for me) to deal with this. I do feel a lot of guilt, not that I could of done anything different, I just wish I could take this for her and she wouldn't have to deal with any of this. I wish I could take her place ( although I still have my own physical issues because of the birth)! I have been told that it is a long process of surgeries, therapies, and waiting. She may need surgeries through out her childhood to help her arm lengthen and grow as she grows. I was told by her Dr. that Emma will probably need to have a muscle transfer surgery, where they would take some of her good muscle from the pectoral area and transfer it to the back to help pull her shoulder back and possibly give her some more supination in that arm.

It's hard for Tim and I to make this decision of surgery now or wait or no surgery at all! It scares me to hear the DR say that if we don't transfer muscle, her arm will slowly turn all the way inward, not only would it look bad, but it would have no more function, and I'm sure be more painful. We think about how this is going to effect Emma's future, the physical scares she will have, being a girl how is this going to effect her self esteem when she is a teenager! Will she be able to drive a car when she gets older, will she be able to hold her baby one day with both her arms. How will she do everyday task that we do and don't think about like, reaching up with both hands to get something off a high shelf, or even button her shirt! She already struggles to get her shirts on and off because she can not turn her arm the way she needs to to take it on and off.

Oh the worries of this Mommy's heart!

So thankful for God's word and how it gives me peace!

Please pray for us! Emma is going on Tuesday for a sedated MRI. It is suppose to take three hours, then next Tuesday we are scheduled to meet with her Orthopedic Surgeon to discuss the findings of her MRI. Whether or not it is the right time to do a muscle transfer surgery or if we should wait and watch a while longer. It's a hard decisions for Tim and I to make. We have noticed that since Emma has gotten bigger her left arm is smaller, bent up, and turned inward more. She is having more and more difficulty with dressing herself. We appreciate all of your prayers!

She is a blessing and a miracle to us! ( all our girls are :) ) Thankful to God for all His blessings.